Don't Close Your Eyes

Kaikeng

Alright. For those people who know me do i still need to introduce myself?
Well, for people who doesn't know me.
Overview
17 years old - Gemini - 310592 - Chinese Blood - Temasek Polytechnic - Simple - Easygoing - Lame - Insane - Hyper - Bubbly - Serious - High Expectations - Kind - Weird - Forgiving
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That's me. The Wind Element

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Design: doughnutcrazy
Icon: morphine_kissed
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hello.this is a short story created by me.is it nice? it's not happening in me.just come out with the ideas.haha. i can assure you all grammer and spelling mistakes is a dozen.haha.sentence also got error.

Nothing was left to be heard, just the silence mixture of the wind howling and hitting on the loosely hung old wooden windowpane causing it to be creaking in the middle of the night. The clock struck twelve midnight, bell went on for twelve times. I was on my bed with the silence tears leaking out like a water pipe that has burst. Suicide. It was the only word that came into my mind. I told myself that I had to be strong, but things didn’t turn out to be the same that I’ve thought.
I am afraid of death. What is death? How does it feel like? Why must I be afraid of death? Why can’t just let me die instead of living in a world that I would be tortured? I kept my thought wondering with questions. My heart feels like it has been penetrate by some sharp thorns of miseries. Voices telling me that death are the solution for everything, but some says it would cause my parents to be sad and hurt them emotionally. Which to choose? I’m confused. I don’t want to see my family to be sad just because of me.
What should I do? I can’t take it anymore. I feel like the rope that I’ve been clinging onto was tearing apart. But. No one’s there to save me. My strength was lost. I felt my body weak and smaller then any other people around me. I can see they were happily mocking at how naive I am to be. Laughter, it is the only voice of devilish that occupied the enclosed area of my life. I closed my eyes. The only thing that I can read is a pale moonlight shining through my world of darkness.
Am I paranoid? No? Then why am I feeling this way? Why I felt that people around me hated me? Why do I feel like I am being left out? Is this all true? Or is just me? I asked myself again. I felt backstabbed. Why do I feel this way? How does it feel when people backstabbed you? How does it feel when people asked you to help them and in return all you get back is they are letting you go? How does it feel? To me I felt hurt and emotionally hurt. Maybe I’m just being paranoid?
People said I’ve changed. Why do they say that? Did I really change? People say I am being unreasonable? Am I? I have my reasons behind it. But why do they say that I am being unreasonable when I tried explaining to them. I fear of losing everything. I fear that one day I will lost all of them. But it seems to me that it’s all happening now. How? Why? How am I going to keep them with me? Why do I felt that my world is curling in?
Blood froze in my brain. Than I just realized that I’m nobody in their life. So once again I’m emotionally hurt. I don’t know how they felt about me. What are their points of views. But I’m just really hoped that this wouldn’t come to a sad ending. I need them. The only reasons why I don’t show is that if I show them, they may become ego. I don’t want them to be ego. Maybe they will not.
Problems lie with me? But I think that if I have, so do they. When I tried telling them I would start to quarrel. I’m tired. So I just don’t wanna continue. Everyone is not perfect. Everyone in their life always would have a room of improvement. Is the matter that do they accept to be improved? I am learning to be a better person. But, things didn’t help me.
I raised myself up, I took a look at my clock. It was already one o’clock in the morning. I laid myself back and closed my eyes and went for my nap. With the last tears squeezing its way out of my eyes, it leaked down causing my checks to tickle.

ENJOY! HEHE!